thoughts about things

Have you heard of the form of dieting where you keep a journal of what you eat?

The act of noting everything you put into your mouth makes one more aware of what previously might have been an automatic habit.

I’ve started doing the same for external input from the world. Namely with devices like my laptop and iPhone, as they provide access to multiple output/inputs… Television programs, podcasts, video’s of all sorts on any topic, social networks, shiny things… The lot¹.

At the moment it’s more a mental check, which is much more likely to fade into the ether, whereas if I write down what I am about to do (eg. check my Facebook stream) or even speak it out aloud, it’s a much more conscious action to then go ahead and log onto Facebook.

Another thing I’ve thought about is asking why I’m doing something like checking Facebook.

Usually it’s just because I’ve finished checking every other social network I’ve signed up to - Facebook is my last resort. :P And the reason I go on a social network checking-spree usually comes down to the fact that I’m not busy enough doing something useful, creative or fun, and I’m feeling lonely or disconnected from humans, and I want to see if I’ve received any virtual love, appreciation or validation, be it in the form of “likes” on Tumblr, Facebook or Vimeo, or a nice email from a friend in my inbox.

Speaking out loud the reason for my love-seeking-action helps. It draws it out of my brain as a swirling transparent idea hiding in the shadows, and sets it out in front of me and my subconscious in concrete. It names it. It makes it “real”. It can then be dealt with.

A non-tech related example of where this worked for me was yesterday, was when I was driving home from work.

I was coming up to a nice little organic shop and had the desire to buy some organic chocolate. I feel much better about myself when eating this, rather than typical off-the-shelf rubbish - it’s organic! How can I go wrong! It’s pretty much good for me. Just look at that awesomely sexy, down-to-earth packaging.

So I took the opportunity to ask myself why I actually wanted to buy chocolate. I knew didn’t need it. I know it isn’t “good” for me. And it’s certainly not something I would want to eat if I was hungry. So why?

Pretty much ‘cause I wasn’t feeling satisfied with life at that moment. I wasn’t happy. And I wanted that moment of food pleasure to bring me the happiness I desired. I knew it wouldn’t last long, but at least I’d have that fleeting moment to enjoy…

After saying this out loud to myself in my car, my craving to pull over and buy chocolate disappeared!

“Oh shit!” I thought. “No more desire for chocolate… No sweet yummy food thing for me tonight”. Buuuut then I let my ego take over and pulled over anyway (totally against the better judgement of my inner-voice/intuition/God/Me), and purchased a block of chocolate, some fruit straps and some carob coated licorice. ‘Cause I saw them and they looked like something I might want to eat.

They all tasted gross (unfortunately) and I was taught an appropriate lesson. :P

I still keep succumbing to the idea of purchasing and eating “wonderful” (moment-only)² food.

The level to which the food is removed from its natural and original state is proportional to the shitty feeling that lingers in my body after eating it.

Oops - just realised I should say this out loud, too. :)