Daniel James Jackson's long-form thoughts on things that be on his mind, plus things from others that spawn such thoughts.
[I just emailed this to most of my friends:]
I quit Facebook.
It feels fantastic.
I was not going to say anything, to see how long it would take for anyone to notice. Then it dawned on me that I actually wanted to tell you why I quit, because perhaps the reasons might ring true with you as well…
I smile at night-time when I’m on Facebook, et al, as I imagine everyone else at their computer on Facebook, too, when a number of us could actually catch up in person and have some real interaction.
Whilst deleting ones Facebook profile may feel freeing to some, ironically it’s pretty much become the de-facto method of organising the gathering of humans to be within close physical proximity with each other.
A friend of mine who is a Facebook critic has found endless frustration with not being invited to events created via Facebook, simply because people don’t always remember to SMS him or email him separately. I’ve suggested setting up an account solely for that purpose, but he professes to have poor discipline and fears he would slide down a slippery slope into the pit of Facebook distraction and over-use. I place myself in an odd category, with regards to making ‘real connections’ in the ‘real world’.
Currently I’m pretty shit at it. It’s not a skill I’ve been nurtured to have, and I’ve not even been aware that there really is attention, effort and planning needed to foster friendships and make new ones, in this real world. (I’m a late bloomer with most things in life. But I do try to bring a plate, once do I arrive at a party.)
So whilst some people like Ben are missing having those real connections, and can probably ‘hop back on the bike’ and go riding with friends, again - just like in the good old days - I don’t really have those skills to fall back on.. What’s funny, actually, is that my social ability is reflected in Facebook, too.
Many of my very social friends are also very active on Facebook with the same friends they hang out with in real life. Facebook appears to be an extension of their real-life friendships; perhaps people with a reasonably well trafficked blog or who are on Twitter communicate more with people they haven’t met in real life… I know that is true for myself.
Regarding social ability etc, though, I do know that if I put some work into it, I could become a more sociable person. I guess I’m just saying that I am not that, by nature.
Another point I’d like to go futher into is the whole ‘real life connection’ stuff.
Something that might not get talked about too often or specifically is the need for humans to not only be connected, accepted and loved by other human beings, but for that to take place in person.
It’s a fact that if a baby does not receive physical contact (in a caring way :P ) it will die. It can be fed a nutritionally correct diet, be dwelling in a pleasantly warm room, get sun, water etc etc, but if it is not held by another human being - does not receive love - it will not survive. I do not doubt for a moment that that need for positive touch remains with us forever. I know I crave human affection and warmth and bask it in when I receive it.
A friend of mine gives the most uninhibited hugs, and they are wonderful. Experiencing the energy/soul/aura/love of another positive being can’t be undervalued. We all know how hugs from a loved one feel so great - and this is not even considering the experience of sexual connection and contact.
The primary and most often used form of communication between humans has been in-person, bodily and aural communication, for the longest time. For this and the above reasons, it’s no wonder we crave to be in the presence of one-another. I know I just need to work on the basics of organising for that to take place. :)
Just like in some sci-fi novel, I do wonder if people growing up in the age of Facebook will have some unexplainable emptiness as they go through their (hypothetically) online-centricly connected lives… They don’t have any ‘good old days’ to fall back on. They may not know what they’re missing…
Hopefully it never gets to that point, but it does remind me somewhat of the movie Pleasantville!
UPDATE: I don’t want this article to feel comforting like it does, as it may sew a seed in my brain that says, “Hey! Stay home, be miserable. It’s okay! Others do, too”. Though they may not often be miserable and yearn for comfortable social interaction, as I often do.
